The subject of dignity has been part of some recent discussions. Dignity has been something raised particularly in relation to the question of how we are making sure community efforts reach everyone who needs help and how we can remove the stigma of accessing help via food larders or other community resources. We have seen a variety of approaches aimed at tackling this challenge from managing food waste to places promoted as totally inclusive and not just for those in need.
Nourish Scotland has been running a number of thought provoking and helpful webinars working with community groups responding to the impact of the COVID19 Crisis on the theme of dignity. Food insecurity challenges anyone’s sense of self-worth. Nourish Scotland’s approach provides a valuable resource to community groups who are stepping up to bolster their communities at this challenging time. There has been an outpouring of goodwill, generosity and a genuine desire to support those who are in need. Heartening stories of connections with community members who up until recent events had been on the fringes of community life, but have now been brought into the fold. Kindness has been a key instrument in facilitating these connections but there are many complexities of the human condition and the matter of dignity is one which perhaps hasn’t been explored and properly understood as widely as it might be.
I have begun to explore the subject of what we mean by dignity and this is what I have learned so far.
When we think of dignity it perhaps morphs into a sense of pride, this is where there is a danger of reaching a crisis point before we ask for or receive help. There is a healthy pride which may arise from seeing loved ones, children achieving and positively contributing to society. However, there are aspects of pride which can descend towards egotism. Our mental and emotional wellbeing is strongly connected to how good we feel about ourselves and if this becomes an unyielding sense of pride it can do harm to our sense of dignity. Pride tends to be more about what we do and what we have rather than who we are.
It can promote our self-image whereas dignity can feed us and is maybe more of an expression of who we are. However life treats us, dignity helps us maintain our self compassion. When we live with a gentle sense of dignity, we are more honest with ourselves, more able to be kinder and reverential towards others no matter their situation.
Pride can feed a sense of being better than others leading to judgemental approaches, whereas dignity does not seek to compare oneself to others. There is gratitude in having what you have rather than feeling superior. This internal self-respect means that we less likely to judge or criticise ourselves which can lead us to not judge or criticise others.
We are perhaps familiar with the saying, “ Pride cometh before a fall…” meaning pride is a fragile bubble easily burst. If our self worth is measured by what we possess or have achieved externally then defeat or rejection can be intolerable, we may feel there is something wrong with us. If we live with dignity, we can still feel sadness or disappointment but we may embrace the vulnerable feelings and are able to explore how to grow from the experience. We can do this through our self-compassion and self-respect.
It is not undignified to make mistakes but pride leads us to the indignity of not learning from them. Not asking for help can keep us perpetuating patterns that can be harmful.
We can strive to act with dignity at all times but as humans there will be occasions when we can succumb to the trappings of pride. Recognising this can get us back on track, understanding the difference between pride and dignity will be what will nourish us. The acceptance of ourselves for who we are will help us when we want to extend dignity towards others.
More information regarding “Dignity at a time like this” can be found at Nourish Scotland http://www.nourishscotland.org/dignity-at-a-time-like-this/